I seem to find myself crying in airports a lot.
Wondering how I always end up with such a heavy backpack, and why airport food is always so expensive.
3 ½ months ago I was sitting in an airport crying because I was leaving my home and family. Today I’m sitting in one crying because I’m leaving the place that has become another home to me, and people who have become family to me.
Don’t mistake me…I am excited to be going home, and so excited to see my family. I’ve missed them all a lot…but leaving is hard.
I’ve gotten to once again see how terrible I am at goodbyes. I’ve spend the past 3 ½ months laughing, and crying right alongside these people that have become my brothers and sisters…but this is just a part of it I’m told, I’ve been told by several missionaries that goodbyes are unavoidable and you have to learn to deal with them.
I wish I could put this semester into words. I really do. It was challenging, stretching, hard, stressful, and amazing. I was broken, learned how to find my true joy in the Lord, stressed about homework assignments, learned so much from the classes, fell more in love with Jesus.
I remember stepping off that place 3 months ago. I was sick, and tired, and never so glad to be some place in my life. Part of me was excited to be there, the other part was dreading it. I remember thinking how in the world am I going to be 1000’s of miles away from home, for so long. The first week was really a time of being refreshed in the Lord. Previous to going to Hungary I’d been going through such a dry spell, I wasn’t wholly following after the Lord, and was in just kind of a luke-warm state….but that first week the Lord reminded me through the Word and through teachings, how much He loved me and wanted me back, He wanted me all to Himself, and to take off the baggage I was carrying. From there it was a process of surrendering over everything to Him. The big plans I had made, and even just the small little things, He asked for everything, and it hurt. I felt like I was being stripped of everything, and I didn’t know what to do, but He brought me through it.
Since I grew up in a Christian home and in church I ‘knew’ a lot of things in my head, but it wasn’t applied in my head, nor were a lot of things fully real to me, but there were so many things that just became real to me. We talk about God’s grace, and His power, well those things became so real to me. We read about His forgiveness, and the freedom we have in Christ, but those were things I actually got to experience, to take off those chains, and leave them off. I really got to see Romans 8:1 in my own life.
Overall I learned just how much I needed Him, in just my day to day life. Not to just go to Him when I need something, but just have the true fellowship and abiding in Him. Being in constant prayer…oh prayer, that was a big thing. I learned so much about prayer, one of my ‘assignments' for Nehemiah class was to keep a weekly prayer journal, and I had a prayer partner that I met with once a week and we prayed for an hour.
I learned to stop relying on my own strength and to rely fully on Him. Philippians 4:13 is pretty legit people.
Jesus is just awesome.
I wish there were a better word.
After being in places with different languages, and hearing that they have bigger vocabularies I’ve decided English needs to add a few more words in.
I’m going to miss it, and pray the Lord sends me back next semester… (:
Now I’m just waiting on my flight to Frankfurt, then Frankfurt to Texas. Praying I sleep a lot, I’ve been awake since 8 yesterday morning. We left the college at 3 this morning, so I just didn’t go to sleep. If I could sleep that whole 10 hour flight, that would be perfectly ok with me.
I’m really looking forward to a steak…and a hamburger…green chili too… :) really just southern and Mexican food in general.
“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.” Isaiah 43:2-3
^The Lord showed me this verse a few days ago, and it rocks my socks off. I really needed it at that time, and it was super comforting. Jesus is always going to be with us. Through the rivers, water, and fire. He is mighty to save.
My journey home continues.
Congrats all you CCBCE graduates!
