Mission-Bring crazed milk cow to house.

I should be in bed. But I'm not... because I have issues with sleep. Seriously. I've been going to bed and laying there a hour or longer before I fall asleep. It is annoying. So since I can't sleep I'll tell you all about my adventure gathering the milk cow.

Our milk cow, Betty has been a free range cow for a few weeks now. She got into a herd of other bovines and has been roaming around with them for awhile. Boy did she stick out like a sore thumb. We'd be driving to town and you'd see this whole bunch of cows, most of them black. Then you'd see this brown and white milk cow out there. Anyway. We'd been meaning to go gather her and bring her back up to the house, but just hadn't done it. Well, my dad told me today that he'd put her back in the horse pasture. (Where she belongs) but we couldn't decide if she'd be stupid enough to sit up there at the end of the pasture and starve herself for water. See the other cows were just right there, across the fence. So, since we didn't know about her smartness, I decided I'd go up there and bring her back. Instead of.. umm.. doing... uhh... school... *coughs* well I actually had every intention of doing it when I got back... but... ehhh... let us move on.

So I saddled up Pecos, the best, awesomest, horse ever. And away we went. To the end of the pasture... it is... like... two and a half miles across there... I think... I don't know I'm probably wrong about that... but it is something like that. So like I said, away we went. Chasing some antelope along the way... Yes, it was fun. Maggie, the great and mighty border collie was chasing 'em down too after I pointed and hollered "Get 'em!" And boy did she get after 'em! We had to stop once and stare into a hole that had something in it... it wasn't a bunny, I know it couldn't have been... I was riding along, saw it and at first thought it was a coyote. Then it disappeared... I ride up closer, something pops out of a hole, sees me and goes back in. I really don't think it was a rabbit... the dogs were sniffing at the hole too... maybe it was some unknown creature that is going to come attack us! or... not... dude that could seriously be a Scifi movie... anyway where was I... oh yes, riding through the pasture.

I arrive at the end of the pasture and sure enough I see her. The milk cow that is. She is standing there, right by the fence, just... standing there. The idiot. She probably would have just stood there and starved for water. So me and ole dunny (Pecos) get up there and start trying to push her back toward the house. She doesn't want to go straight directly to the house, no she wants to follow the fence line. I don't want to follow the fence line. It takes forever. So after having her trot down the fence line a ways I get her turned toward the house. And away we go. She is fine at first. Until she realizes that she is being taken away from her friends. She then proceeds to turn and go running back to the fence. Me and dunny get on the chase and get her turned back around. After jumping over mesquite bushes and dodging holes. We get going again. She turns around, again. This continues. Forever. I could not, for the life of me get that sorry cow to head to the house. Dunny was getting after her too, it was kind of fun. But also very irritating. I mean c'mon. It is a MILK COW. Whenever I took on this mission I figured it would be easy. I mean seriously. A milk cow.

It was just wild. We'd go, she turn and run. We'd get around her, turn her. Then we'd do it all over again. She got called names, many names. Then, we don't get her turned in time and she gets to the fence. There are other bovines on the other side There is a low spot right there and she just goes over. Ohhh no ma'am. I was... fuming. Yes, that is the word. Fuming. I was angry. This stupid, idiotic cow had... just... went over the fence... SHE IS A MILK COW. She is NOT supposed to be this hard to move. So, I had to ride up a little ways to a gate. To this cursed gate that I HATE with a passion. Most of the gates around here I can open and close okay. Not this gate. I open it up just fine. But then I have to close it. I stick the bottom part in the bottom wire, and sit there pulling, growling, muttering, trying to get the top wire over the post. The cows just stood there, looking at me... with... stupid looks on their faces. I finally get the gate closed. Leap upon the mighty steed and start trotting to where the sorry, good for nothing, knuckle headed milk cow is. I trot up to her and she just looks at me. Then she tries again to go back with the other bovines. But! I prevail this time! HA! take that! She doesn't get passed me. Haha, hoho, hehe. So this time, we follow the fence line. Well, we didn't have a choice, we had to follow the fence line to get to a gate, which goes back into the Horse pasture.

This all took forever. I arrive at the gate, get the cursed thing open. Get back on the steed, push her through, get back off and close the cursed thing again. Then we start to the house. She tried to be cunning and sly a few times. But she just wasn't good enough to beat me and dunny, oh and Maggie. She got a ways ahead of me once. Stopped, and faced the direction of the other cows. I could see it in her eyes. She was going to try it, she wanted to so bad. But me and dunny prevailed again. I really needed my rope during all this, then I could have, as my brother would say, laid my twine on her. ha. Right. The way I rope... ha. We finally, after traveling many miles, battling the elements, facing death itself, get her home.

Mission Accomplished.


I have to admit. It was kind of fun... in a way. I NEVER get to do anything. I only just get to go out and ride. I do enjoy that. But sometimes it is fun to actually get to do something. It was... a.. adventure.

No milk cow. Or any cow for that matter shall prevail against me and Pecos!